If you had to organize a parade, the theme would be

I take attendance by asking the students a question.

If you had to organize a parade, the theme would be: ________. (previously)

Some sort of traditional or otherwise straightforward suggestions:

• floats
• pirates
• latinidad --- with lots of latinx artists
• sharks
• fantasy
• clouds
• candy
• happy
• guava
• turkey
• seasonal I guess?
• puppets
• [assorted suggestions of trademarked characters, by name]

Suggestions became increasingly wacky:

• astronaut penguins
• baby shark
• cheddar popcorn
• running (so it'd be a marathon)
• guava
• ME.
• apocalypse
• parade-themed parade
• weather
• awkwardness
• Turing Machine

Frankly these parades seem aggressively impossible:

• food allergies
• algorithms
• topological sort
• Agoraphobia Awareness

That last one... wow. I guess we might be able to schedule a parade indoors, like in an enclosed mall space? Agoraphobia does seem to be inherently at odds with parades, which take up a lot of space and are usually held outdoors.

The "most reasonable impromptu declared parade" award goes to the "People who are reasonably competent at walking" Parade, which ... could be happening right now! It's low-key, so you'd never know.


This post's theme word is bathophobia (n), "a fear of depths or falling from a great height." We should not have hired the bathophobia support group to steer the parade floats from the in-cockpit controls...