Sunday, December 31, 2017


Quotes that enterprising persons heard in my office, and recorded on the board, but which are now being erased so I can have more space for research:

  • "Hot damn, man"
  • "I have very large hips compared to a mice baby."
  • "PLACENTAS, Lila"
  • "On Thursday I have to give birth... I have to interview candidates, get inseminated, and fully gestate a human child."
  • "Think faster... and also better."
    "It's solid advice. If only you could follow it."
  • "You, in particular, need help."
  • "Why is everything covered in metal?"
  • "I didn't realize there was both a top and a bottom."
    "How did you think boxes work?"
  • "It's gotta be true, right? There are so many emojis."
  • "Christmas star" [accompanied by un-star-like diagram of a graph with 5 vertices]
  • "I'm very professional, except for the hole in my pants."
  • "Today is not. Halloween."
  • "I do. Because I know stuff. Because that's what I am."

This post's theme word is farraginous (adj), "heterogeneous; having a mix of random things." What a silly, context-free, farraginous collection of quotes.

Saturday, December 30, 2017

How to announce sweeping policy changes

Firstly, have you considered not making sweeping policy changes?

While I am sure that you think you have considered every aspect of the change, you probably haven't, and may quickly regret and rescind your announcement when your user base is outraged. (I'm looking at you, Patreon, and thanking you for responding to my strident and vitriolic feedback by apologizing and not making the change.)

Secondly, have you considered making your policy change trivial, but having the announcement denigrate your user base?

I don't advise this, either, okcupid. Boo.

Thirdly, you had better grandfather in all your previous users under their former conditions, or I will quit.

I really will.

It's easy.

And then I will take my attention, and my patronage, and my money, and my life, and spend it somewhere else.

To celebrate the end of this offensive, horrible calendar year, during which I nevertheless achieved some life milestones, I am now reviewing my yearly donations and subscriptions, increasing my donations, and mostly cancelling subscriptions --- and adding that money to the donations pile. So my sweeping policy change is that I am donating more money than before, supporting charities and libraries and artists.

Look at me, supporting capitalism by laboring so that I can give my money away!

(A. pointed out that I behave not in my own best interests, economically, but in a socially-justified way. I am duly smug.)

This post's theme word is mammothrept (n), "a spoilt child; a person of immature judgment." Your sweeping policy change satisfies your mammothrept investors and causes a massive exodus of your site's users!