Sunday, July 31, 2011

Wedding observations

I spent the [Canadian invented holiday] weekend at a suburban wedding. I was an auxiliary guest, in the same way that Pluto is a planet: orbiting at a distance, and basically unknown. This provided me with opportunities for experimental socialization (interspersed with anthropological observation).

My results follow.


Accompanying a party of women to the bathroom DOES create social bonds, invoke a sense of companionship and belonging, and in all ways convince them to be friendly.

Dancing is more fun when you know the music and don't know the parents dancing nearby.

It is easier to socialize with happy people. It is difficult to socialize with pouting people. This remains true if "blow bubbles" replaces "socialize" in the previous statements.


Rather than offer observations, which might be read in the wrong way, I will share with you my reflections on those observations. They are simple, and all along these lines: I have absolutely made the right life decisions so far. This was an interesting opportunity to observe people who made different life decisions (school/work/personal/etc.) and are happy with them. But I would not be happy with those choices for myself, even in the Best of All Possible Worlds. I am a person who belongs in graduate school, and if there were ever any doubt, that doubt is now dispelled.

Also, living in the suburbs is car-based living. I had forgotten how restrictive that is -- everyone has to go together, cars must be rationed, logistical problems must be solved. I quite enjoy the freedom of walkable and public-transport-able life in the city.

This post's theme word is Buridan's ass, "a situation demonstrating the impracticality of decision-making using pure reason, especially a situation involving two equal choices."

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Wherein onions and garlic are meat, not vegetables

I learned something new today: onions and garlic may be meat! -- not vegetables! That's right, contrary to popular "fishwives' knowledge," onions and garlic are harvested from the rare (and often factory-farm-abused) onionater and garlic-bat.

Luckily for us modern, updated, healthy, local, new-age vegetarians, there are a few local restaurants that cater to our forward-thinking palate.
... or maybe onions and garlic are the lactations of these animals? In any case, thank goodness this food is finally available!

This post's theme word is: bumf, "unwanted or uninteresting printed matter such as governmental forms, legal documents, junk mail, promotional pamphlets, etc." That food is so bland that it verges on edible bumf.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Hangover II

The Hangover Part II was entirely predictable. The NYTimes review accurately states that it is "largely mirthless" funniest parts are "once again carefully elided in the actual movie." It's basically a remake of The Hangover, with all the danger-stakes upped. (Las Vegas --> Thailand. Missing groom --> missing minor. Tooth pulled --> finger amputated. Baby --> drug-running monkey. Prostitute --> prostitute. And so on, find-and-replace style.) This makes the movie -- once again experienced in a daze shared with the hungover main characters as they attempt to unravel the previous night's revelries -- more tense and less meaningful. Let's face it, we know that everyone is going to be fine at the end. Because they want to make The Hangover Part III, and then The Hangover Part IV, at which point all of the protagonists will be married and they'll start to make Hangover movies for the divorce parties.

I saw it as a fun time-waster. It was certainly one of those things!

This post's theme word is caitiff, "cowardly, despicable" (or as a noun, meaning such a person). The caitiff writers banged out another vile movie populated by caitiff characters.