What is your personal motto?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question.

What is your personal motto?

This year had a different tone than last year.

The positive:

• be happy
• don't give up
• You can do it.

The cultural references:

• Hakuna matata
• deus vult
• That's my secret, I'm always dancing.
• age quod agis
• just keep swimming
• You do you.

Those aiming for moderation:

• no worries
• it's gonna be okay
• whatevs
• Everything is okay.
• #flawless
• Learn. Think. Create. 
• while (alive) { live() }

The climbing-based mottos for climbers who climb enough to justify a climbing-based personal motto, which to my astonishment is a set containing more than one student:

• More chalk
• Always heel hook

The unfortunate: "sleep deprived since 2014!"

The decidedly pessimistic note goes to "Never address your problems," and the could-go-either-way pin goes to "Don't care unless it helps you."

The Non-Sequit-Award is tied between "look at dogs a bunch" and simply "bird". (Is "bird" a verb now? What are these youths doing with language nowadays? *shakes fist at sky, mumbles to self*)

This post's theme word is bovarism (n), "a romanticized, unrealistic view of oneself." My motto: be the bovarism I think I am already!

Quoth the raven

I take attendance by having the students answer a question.

Quoth the raven, "________________". (See previously.)

Traditionalists were numerous (four!), some with a modern take:

• nevermore (x 4)
• forevermore (I know this b/c the Simpsons)
• evermore
• never (Swarth)more
• To Whatever End

Alternate animal noises:

• tweet
• moo
• woof
• quack?
• "caw"
• skrrrrt
• caawwww

Some students apparently thought the raven was trying to politely decline something, or greeting someone, or continuing an ongoing conversation:

• hello
• sup
• suhhhh
• hi
• no
• eat my shorts
• I'd rather not
• party like it's 1999
• I'm ravin' mad

I have no idea how a raven would pronounce ":(", but I'd like to see it attempted. Similarly, "burp" could be an interesting spectator event.

The "Modernity Makes Me Feel Old" Medallion goes to "that's so raven", for taking my highfalutin' literary reference and turning it into a pop-culture reference accessible exclusively to tween-targeting advertising conglomerates.

The Non-Sequitur Plaque goes to the student who wrote, "*drops cheese". Runner-up is "swallowing in sadness", about which I can only say: [sic].

This post's theme word is otic (adj), "relating to the ear." In a moment of otic confusion, I hallucinated a chortling, cheese-dispensing raven.

Your hidden talent?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question.

What is one of your hidden talents?

Once again, my students are brimming with talent. "Sleeping" and "procrastinating" (and variants thereon) were popular, of course --- remember, these are undergraduates. They don't yet know how to sugarcoat those as "restoring my equilibrium" and "organizing my schedule around my personal priorities".

The fundamental talents to cover the bottom part of Maslow's hierarchy.

• guessing all the ingredients used in a dish
• catching gummy bears in my mouth (<-- a="" addendum="" an="" disputed="" in="" later="" li="" student="" this="">
• navigating with cardinal directions (I'm bad at left and right though...)
• I can distinguish flavors in food really well.
• putting too much cinnamon in everything somehow

Psychological, middling-Maslow needs might be met by:

• Calming down a group of 30+ children.
• appearing unexpectedly

And the only thing for self-actualization is, of course, self-reference and other circular reasoning:

• Hiding my talents from others.
• can't tell
• paying attention to lecture while filling out the attendance sheet

Touché.

I am most astonished by the student who wrote "flying".


This post's theme word is foozle (v), "to botch or bungle", or (n) "a botched attempt at something." I thought I could juggle, but my complete foozle indicates it's a very hidden talent.

What is your favorite kitchen implement?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question. This week's question is sourced from WiCS (I want to give proper attribution, in the spirit of good citation etiquette).

What is your favorite kitchen implement?

Spatulas come out ahead, rubber spatulas in particular. Other single-handed tools are popular, too: ladle, spoon, tongs, whisk, and whatever a "flipperer" is. The two-handed "mortar & pestle" is a cool choice. Many people picked cooking vessels: pan, colander, steamer, toaster, saucepan, or the stove. One person, thinking perhaps of their value on the product of the implement, said "coffee press." The future is always automated by those who pick "stand mixer."

Kudos and the Thinking Big Prize go to "multiple sinks".  The "????" Trophy (a golden plaque covered in question marks) goes to "peanut butter stick", which I can only figure is like a glue stick, but for spreading peanut butter? I'm definitely picturing a cylinder of peanut butter which gets gradually extruded, and which you dispense by friction onto your food.


This post's theme word is kayfabe (n), "portrayal of staged events as real, especially in professional wrestling." The "Kayfabe Cooking Corner" is a little too meta for a cooking show concept --- maybe try something simpler, like: 101 uses for a whisk?

What's your favorite fruit?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question.

What's your favorite fruit?

Students had a clear plurality winner: mango, with 8 votes. Huzzah! Tied for second-place were grapes and pineapples; tied for third place were strawberries and apples. (It's a good smoothie so far.)

Other fruits that appeared: orange, banana, dragon fruit, peach, blueberry, lychee, cucumber, squash. (The smoothie has slightly derailed.)

One worrisome student wrote simply, "nightshade." (No longer a recommended smoothie.)

One fruit-lover picked the entire category of "stone fruit."

The Professor's Apology for a Bureaucratic Mix-Up Award goes to the student who wrote, "the 'being on the list' fruit".

This post's theme word is shermanesque, "brutally thorough, especially in defeating someone." The mango's popularity was shermanesque; other fruits cower in fear.

If you were a superhero, what power would you have?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question.

If you were a superhero, what power would you have?

Listed from usual to much less usual, students replied:

• invisibility
• flying
• run fast / super speed
• teleportation / being in multiple places at once
• shapeshifting
• time travel / ability to stop time / napping, but while I nap, time stops
• slowing time
• existing forever / immortality
• I would just be Aquaman
• superior intellect
• honestly this might be awful but reading minds
• rearrange atoms - make whatever I want
• greening the world
• produce infinite pasta

I appreciated the computer science-themed answers, too:

• brute-force algorithms in constant time
• moving nondeterministically
• solving P vs. NP

The "Wait, does that mean... ?" prize for most thought-invoking superpower goes to "breaking the fourth wall". A Most Meta Medal goes to the superpower, "make one more person a superhero."

But my favorite was the keep-your-dreams-manageable student whose superpower would simply be "to not be lactose intolerant."


This post's theme word is acnestis, "the part of the body where one cannot reach to scratch." (Etymology: from From Greek aknestis (spine), from Ancient Greek knestis (spine, cheese-grater).) My superpower would be the ability to eliminate my acnestis and satisfy an itch by scratching anywhere!

What does the fox say?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question. Today's timeless question was:

What does the fox say?

I ask because I actually do not know the answer --- are foxes one of those animals that emits a human-like scream? I have a vague memory of learning something like this. One student confirmed: "It sounds like children crying and is super creepy."

Many people answered with onomatopoeia or other sounds:

• ahhhhhhhh!
• moo
• ughh
• screaming in the Crum
• WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA WA
• meow
• ring ding ding ding ding ga ding
• "..."
• qwak
• bleh
• oo
• wah
• nati nati nati noo
• QUACK!

... of which my clear favorite is the callback reference that foxes make "Bluth family chicken noises" (reference).

Then there were the replies that suggest the fox can speak (sometimes at length):

• noooooooooooooo
• I'm sleepy
• suhhh, dude
• bird
• Hello I am a fox
• stop talking about me

Then there were the editorial answers, describing what the fox says rather than rendering what the fox says:

• nothing
• It's Monday, the fox is still sleeping
• Too much annoying stuff
• Isn't there a song about this?
• This song was way too popular
• I disagree. This song was not popular enough and we should bring it back.

This post's theme word is bombilate, "to make a humming or buzzing noise." The fox snuck up on me without bombilating! -- how is that even possible?

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question. I didn't manage to find her last year, so I asked again:

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

The unsure:

• IDK
• who dat
• no idea
• Wonderful question, I'm from the South.

I guess Carmen Sandiego might be a regional/cultural thing.

Some students suggested a good collection of places I'm totally willing to go in an around-the-world montage/vacation:

• Toledo, Spain
• San Jose
• Los Angeles
• San Diego
• Cornfield, USA (<-- --="" an="" challenge:="" finding="" have="" i="" li="" location="" might="" slightly="" such="" trouble="" underspecified="">
  

on Earth (<-- --="" ditto="" even="" li="" more="" underspecified="">

Gallifrey (<-- --="" a="" challenge:="" challenge="" distance="" expenses="" hugely="" li="" pose="" significant="" still="" time="" travel="" underspecified="">

Swarthmore-specific answers, of course:

• Clothier
• Swarthmore
• Willets 325
• on my comp in 2005
• here<-- attendance="" be="" for="" just="" li="" might="" present="" registering="" someone="">
  
• Bell Tower
• in class

The remaining answers were eclectic. On-topic for Algorithms Award goes to "unsure, but there's probably an algorithm we can use to find out." The Unhelpfullest in Searching Prize is tied between "wherever you look last" and "Have you checked under the couch?" The Trophy of Nerd Supremacy goes to "Schrodinger's Box, with the cat."


This post's theme word is retral (adj), "located at the back" or "backward." The professor calls on the retral students first, so sit near the front!

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

I take attendance by asking the students a question.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

• As much as woodchuckily possible.
• all the wood that a woodchuck could chuck if it could chuck wood
• too much ☹
• lots
• Lot 51
• depends on if he had a snack before
• depends on his emotions
• a truckload
• a chuckload
• O(n*n)
• at least 17
• 10 pieces of wood
• some
• 2
• none 😑
• *if* a woodchuck could chuck wood

The most popular answer was "enough." Official Tip of the Cap to "to get to the other side" for making fun of the questions, and Professor's Preferred Award to "We only need to prove that the wood exists, nothing more."

Previously on: Algorithms.

This post's theme word is loblolly, "a thick gruel", "a mire or mudhole," "an assistant to a ship's surgeon," "a pine tree with long needles and strong wood", or "an evergreen." The lobllolly prescribed me loblolly made of loblolly while I recovered from my motorbike accident. What happened? Oh, I hit a loblolly and fell into a loblolly, then the loblolly fell atop me.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I take attendance by having students answer a question.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Two traditional people went for "to get to the other side."
Others made it bird- or chicken- specific:

• to beat the egg
• because it's a bird.
• to avoid being dinner
• to become dinner
• to escape the farm
• to get hit by a car
• Chipotle > Chick-Fil-A

Many people tried to make this question class-specific:

• to study algorithms
• to get to the other side in constant time
• the algorithm told it to
• to study the runtime of doing so
• to find its friend on the trail
• to add this class (from the waitlist)
• I'm tired. & trying to pay attention to what we're doing in class

... ouch. I try to make the class fun, engaging, and interesting, but I guess there can be such a thing as too many attention-grabbing events. I'll try to rein it in.

Others went off on in various directions:

• deep question...
• for cookiez
• cuz it was bored
• to do what it was destined to do
• because it had a reason to do so.
• to look at the sparkly thing
• It's a mobius strip.
• entropy?
• It forgot its phone.
• because it did
• so that it could be right (it was on the left side)

The teacher's favorite award goes to "motion is an illusion." I'm thrilled to hear it!


This post's theme word is dégustation, "the careful, appreciative tasting of various foods, focusing on the gustatory system, the senses, high culinary art and good company; more likely to involve sampling small portions of all of a chef's signature dishes in one sitting." (This was one of the specific French vocabulary words I only acquired after subtly translating with my phone under the restaurant table.) Welcome to our cheese dégustation! I recommend you start at this end of the table.