"The permanent solution to flushing."

This display of "Bowel Buddy" cookies arrested me with its terrible... promises.
This bread-loaf-sized package purports to include 2 bran wafers. Just two? Each wafer must be the size of my hand; a serving size is 1/6 wafer.The adjacent package of "Bowel Buddy bran wafers" promises "the permanent solution to flushing." Wow, I didn't know that cookies to "Combat Constipation & Irregularity" were so... final. It's a permanent solution? Does each cookie fiber lodge in your digestive tract forever? Is this one package a lifetime supply of "bowel buddies"?

This post's theme word: acnestis, "the part of the body where one cannot reach to scratch."
I wrote this post like David Foster Wallace.

Fallen branch

I happened upon this fallen branch on my way to campus. It looked like maybe it landed on a car...But it was a near-miss.
You can see where the branch broke. It didn't look singed by lightning. Maybe a curious and overweight raccoon had a surprising midnight stroll.


This post's theme word: avoirdupois, "heaviness or weight of a person."
I wrote this post like Stephen King..