How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

 I take attendance by having the students answer a question. Previously 2016, 2017, 2019.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

Some students answered numerically:

• -2
• -1
• 1
• at least 1
• 2+1
• 3.141592
• pi
• 5
• 6
• 100g
• [illegible, but it looked like numbers?]

Some students answered with qualitative descriptions of the quantity of wood:

1. not much (x2)
2. not much, he's nashed
3. some (x2)
4. enough
5. lots
6. depends on the tree species
7. as much as it could
8. as much as it wants
9. as much as a woodchuck could!
10. as long as its hungry

Some students replied to my question with an answer designed to make me stop asking:

• no idea
• I don't know (x3)
• when a woodchuck chucks
• if a wood chuck could chuck wood (x2)
• chuck

The "most pragmatic" award goes to:

• depends if a woodchuck could chuck wood

The "most enigmatic award goes to:

• would?

This post's theme word is alible (adj), "nutritious; nourishing." Wood is not considered alible for most students in my class.