How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

I take attendance by asking students a question.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? (previously 2017 2016)

Many people picked just a number. No units, or at least no helpful units.

• 3
• 5000
• 2
• 5
• 0
• 4 wood
• 7
• like 8 woods

One person said "1 lbs", which wins them the Accurate and Valid Answer Award.

Other people went with heuristic amounts:

• how many it wants
• many
• enough for the winter
• enough lol
• not enough to feed its family
• as much as it could throw
• go ask the woodchuck (on Google)

The Tautological Award for Those Awarded for Their Tautologies goes to:

• a wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood

And the creativity awards go to this collection of replies:

• A woodchuck doesn't have time for your silly games
• Probably a couple trees but don't hold me to this
• segfault
• As much as Chuck Norris wants
• It wouldn't
• Honestly chuck should cut back...

This post's theme words are asyndeton (deliberately chopping out the conjunctions between successive clauses) and polysyndeton (adding more than necessary). The woodchuck's poetry featured many asyndetons, placing it opposite the purple Lovecraftian polysyndetons at the poetry symposium dinner.

What is your favorite kitchen implement?

I take attendance by having students answer a question.

What is your favorite kitchen implement? (previously)

Small implements: fork, whisk, spatula. Also some people listed food (?) as an implement: cucumber, carrot, rice.

Medium-sized implements: oven, kitchen stand, stove, stir fry pan, blender, rice cooker, microwave, dishwasher, lemon juicer.

Unreasonably large to call it an "implement": countertop.


This post's theme word is binnacle (n), "a container for housing instruments on a ship's deck, in a car dashboard, etc." My stand mixer deserves its own binnacle!