I ask students to write me a joke about algorithms pretty regularly. I like seeing what they come up with...
- What did one cross-country star algorithm say to the other?
"It's run time." - Teacher: Write me an algorithm that runs in constant time.
Student: Ok, the first part of my algorithm iterates over a list... - What's the runtime of log?
Nothing. Logs can't run. - When in doubt, O(n!).
- What did the polynomial function say to the exponential function to get it to go away?
"Beeg-O(n)!" [joke included a visual of an xy graph of poly and exp functions diverging with speech bubbles] - "Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"The Gale-Shapley Algorithm"
"That joke wasn't funny"
"I guess you aren't a good match for my humor!" - Two engineers are stuck on whether to use BFS or DFS for a problem.
Eng 1: Should we use BFS instead? Because we tried DFS and we're stuck?
Eng 2: The real queue is why did I choose this career? - A 1-day-old great dane talking to a 1-day-old toy poodle
poodle: I'm bigger than you haha!
great dane: I"m not worried I am Ω(you) - Knock knock... Boom bruteforce algorithm
Algorithms puns:
- Dancer to Algorithms: "Wow algo! You really have rithm!"
- Why did Lila hate the orchestra concert?
Because they didn't have any algo-rhythm! - What did Lila play on the drums?
An algo-rhythm - What type of music do computer scientists listen to?
Algo-rhythm-ic Music - Mr. Merge, Mr. Selection, and Ms. Bubble all joined the Annual Sorting Dance Competition. Can you guess who won?
Mr. Merge won! How? Because he had the best sorting algo-rhythm :)! - If my name was algo and I did music they'd call me algo-rhythm!
Regarding graphs:
- What's the bakery's favorite algorithm?
"Bread"th first search - BreadFirstSearch, no rice no pasta!
- How do we know that topsort vertices prefer the heat?
They have to leave once they reach 0 in-degrees. - What did Dijkstra say to Kruskal?
Why you so greedy - What kind of search do you prefer?
DFS, I like my algorithms with a little more depth to them. * badum tzzzz * - What did BFS say to DFS? Nothing. Algorithms can't talk.
- Why did the edge cross the cut?
Since it had to provide the shortest path :(
This post's theme word is capacitate (v tr), "to make capable." Studying computer science does not capacitate one for comedy.
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