I learned something new today: onions and garlic may be meat! -- not vegetables! That's right, contrary to popular "fishwives' knowledge," onions and garlic are harvested from the rare (and often factory-farm-abused) onionater and garlic-bat.
Luckily for us modern, updated, healthy, local, new-age vegetarians, there are a few local restaurants that cater to our forward-thinking palate.
... or maybe onions and garlic are the lactations of these animals? In any case, thank goodness this food is finally available!
This post's theme word is: bumf, "unwanted or uninteresting printed matter such as governmental forms, legal documents, junk mail, promotional pamphlets, etc." That food is so bland that it verges on edible bumf.