What inanimate object would you wish to eliminate from existence?

I take attendance by having students answer a question.

What inanimate object would you wish to eliminate from existence?

Some students used their wish for the betterment of all:

• fossil fuels
• plastic in the ocean
• greenhouse gases

Others clearly hold personal grudges, whose explanations and origin stories I can only hypothesize:

• mushrooms
• sporks
• red onion
• fire moose
• sandals
• toe shoes
• socks
• aglet
• ties
• styrofoam
• rocks
• my hallmates' alarm clocks
• stickshift cars
• SSBM

"SSBM", based on a 10-second internet search, is either surface-to-surface ballistic missiles, or Super Smash Brothers Melee. Either way, it's destructive.

Some had very specific college-student-related ideas, ranging from "that makes sense" to "that seems actively hurtful towards me, your professor, I'm standing in this room right now trying to teach you":

• problem sets
• math
• final exams
• pens
• this pen
• sign-in sheets
• this question
• Swarthmore College

My favorite was the dull, "nothing", because it supports the hypothesis that we live in the best of all possible worlds.

This post's theme word is aglet --- a new word for me! --- which is the term to refer to the metal or plastic tube at the end of the shoelace that stops it from fraying. In a world without aglets, we bungee-cord our shoes on each morning and saunter about, oblivious to the alternate realities we have narrowly avoided.

If you had one (1) omnipotent wish, what would you do with it?

I take attendance by having the students answer a question.

If you had one (1) omnipotent wish, what would you do with it?

The recursive answer was very popular, of course.

• more wishes
• some more (>1)
• ability to have infinite omnipotent wishes
• more wishes!
• more wishes
• get more omnipotent wishes
• have an infinite number of omnipotent wishes

... though I'm slightly disappointed that, in a course where we have discussed how different infinities are not the same, a student failed to specify which kind of infinity of wishes. I guess to some extent it doesn't matter, since as long as you have one more, you can wish for another kind of infinity more. Too bad we won't get to do any transfinite algebra in this class.

A variant of "more wishes" was:

• omnipotence for myself

... which is nice, because if you truly are omnipotent, then I suppose you can later perform any wish you come up with. But still, it shows either a lot of future planning or a lack of imagination. A further variant was:

• omnipotence (for myself); failing that, mind control

... which I appreciate for providing a fallback wish, just in case I do actually have the power to grant wishes, but get to pass them through an approval/veto process first.

Many wishes were to violate the state of reality:

• ability to teleport
• be able to travel between any place in 1 min
• control time
• be on vacation all the time
• more sleep
• be lucky all the time
• be able to fly
• allow effective space travel
• travel trillions of years into the future for a  [unreadable] moment
• I would blow up the sun!

(That last one is... worrisome.)

Students definitely skew studious with their wishes:

• omniscience
• ask for infinite intelligence
• CS!

I appreciated those whose wishes were simple, constrained, or benefitted others:

• a plate of really good BBQ ribs
• a big sunny field filled with ponies
• win for my team

I have no idea what to do with the possible, but maybe not in this reality at this moment, wish for:

• true love

The winning wish is one that is impractical, feasible, does not violate basic physical laws of reality, and is charmingly petty:

• really good at melee

I'll grant that just... as... soon... as... my omnipotent powers manifest.


This post's theme word is canaille (n), "the common people; the masses; riffraff." Don't mix your wishes in with those of the canaille --- buy upscale wishes here!