It's 05:06:07pm on 08/09/10. I like to think that somewhere, a felt puppet of a vampire is croaking his laugh into the skies! (HT: danteshepherd.)
This post's theme word: campanile, "bell tower." Ask not for whom the campanile tolls...
This post written like Stephen King.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
"The permanent solution to flushing."
This display of "Bowel Buddy" cookies arrested me with its terrible... promises.
This bread-loaf-sized package purports to include 2 bran wafers. Just two? Each wafer must be the size of my hand; a serving size is 1/6 wafer.
The adjacent package of "Bowel Buddy bran wafers" promises "the permanent solution to flushing." Wow, I didn't know that cookies to "Combat Constipation & Irregularity" were so... final. It's a permanent solution? Does each cookie fiber lodge in your digestive tract forever? Is this one package a lifetime supply of "bowel buddies"?
This post's theme word: acnestis, "the part of the body where one cannot reach to scratch."
I wrote this post like David Foster Wallace.
This bread-loaf-sized package purports to include 2 bran wafers. Just two? Each wafer must be the size of my hand; a serving size is 1/6 wafer.
The adjacent package of "Bowel Buddy bran wafers" promises "the permanent solution to flushing." Wow, I didn't know that cookies to "Combat Constipation & Irregularity" were so... final. It's a permanent solution? Does each cookie fiber lodge in your digestive tract forever? Is this one package a lifetime supply of "bowel buddies"?This post's theme word: acnestis, "the part of the body where one cannot reach to scratch."
I wrote this post like David Foster Wallace.
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